Euphoria

Do you ever take a moment to just stop and think about how incredibly blessed you are?  I know I don’t do it nearly enough. Even when I do, it’s usually more just an acknowledgement to God that I realize I’m blessed, but the mental realization is as far as it goes. You know, like when you mentally know something, but it hasn’t really been internalized?  Maybe I’m alone in this, but I highly doubt it.  At times I just can’t understand why I don’t feel more in touch with God, despite being aware of all (okay, not nearly ALL, but still…) that He blesses me with each and every day. I’ve realized though, and I was reminded tonight, that perhaps I just get too caught up in the rigors and distractions of everyday life; that perhaps I don’t feel that close connection with the Lord often enough, because I don’t take the opportunity to be still, or because I don’t allow myself to really enjoy the journey.  Allow me to expound…

So this evening I was sitting at work, I had just wrapped up my tasks for the day, and decided that before I left, I’d just check and see what new blog postings my friends had posted.  To my surprise, there were 6 or 7 new posts! (I know, what a nerd, right?) As I started reading through the different posts my heart went out to one friend who’s family has had, and continues to have, serious medical problems all through her family this past year. As I read her post and about how her heart is heavy for those who she loves who are hurting right now, and how that is hurting her, I was grateful not only for my good health and the relatively good health of my family, but even more so I was grateful that I have a friend who cares so deeply about her family.   I continued to read about a friend who has been having a “quarter life” crisis and turned to Shakespeare only to realize that the shrew depicted in The Taming of the Shrew had it pretty bad herself. I couldn’t help but laugh inwardly and be entertained by the lightheartedness and amazing wit of this peculiar friend. I read about a close friend from high school and her family experiences as of late and that she found out she and her husband are having a baby girl!  As I sat there reading these blogs in my quiet office, most everyone having left for the day, all around me quiet except for the fan blowing on me and my Pandora station playing quietly in the background, I experienced a feeling that I realized I hadn’t felt in quite a while! As I was sitting there sympathizing with one friend, empathizing with another, and feeling ecstatic for the good news of another, I felt a rush of euphoria throughout me; and I knew at that moment that everything is alright in my life. It’s such an amazing experience to have, and I hadn’t realized how long it had been! My heart swelled at that moment with gratitude for a loving God, and for amazing family and friends. How truly blessed I am!  What I was most grateful for at that moment though, was for the realization that true happiness comes to me in times when I am concerning myself (however indirectly reading blogs may be counted) with those people whom I love, and even more so as I am taking the opportunity to be still and to contemplate on my life and the lives of others.

As She's Walking Away

There's just something amazing about experiencing something for the first time and absolutely loving every minute of it. What's almost just as good is being able to experience it again and again and being excited each time.

So let's be honest, I haven't felt that in a while with any relationship that I've been in. I've had the opportunity of dating some awesome girls who I've been extremely blessed to get to know and have had some really fun times with; some of them I've even cared about a lot, but to have that feeling of pure excitement where I just can't wait to be around them again, and for it to be something that is exciting and something that I love each and every time...well it just hasn't happened in a while.

I'll tell you what has given me that feeling of pure excitement and enjoyment each time I experience it, as of late. The excitement has come as she's walking away. Yup, that's right, I love it every time "As She's Walking Away" plays on the radio. Zac Brown Band has done it again; they've given me the amazing feeling of being in love with a song all over again. Check it out!

Well How About Them Apples?!

Today was quite the interesting day in way of insights on my life.  Let me tell you about them:

1) This may sound quite odd, and possibly morbid, but today I realized that for the first time that I can ever recall, the thought of dying doesn't make me anxious at all.  Weirded out yet? Muhahahaha....but really, it's not like that. I LOVE life and hope to live to a ripe old age, but at the same time I really like the idea of having peace of mind and peace of heart when thinking about "what if?" Now, I can't remember for the life of me what chain of thought led me to this realization, and it doesn't really matter to me.  All my life I've been a worrier and the thought of what would happen if I died has always been unsettling (I don't think about it THAT much), even though I've never had a problem with death in general. I don't know, maybe I've always just had a guilty conscious from all of my shady behaviors. *shrug* I guess I finally feel that I am in the clear and going in the right direction. Most people will not find this very interesting, but this is one of the insights I had.

2) The other insight I had was not actually mine. It was presented to me by a friend/co-worker of mine who I've known for quite a few years now.  Somehow the topic of my being single came up, and he offered his opinion that I'm not married because I don't know what I'm doing in my life.  Now I thought this was pretty ridiculous at first, but after considering it, it may actually have some merit.  I've often joked about sabotaging myself by going after relationships that I didn't think I could get, and then once I had the chance, it just never worked out for whatever reason.  I'm definitely not saying that my friend's opinion is correct, but it's always interesting to consider the possibilities.

That's all I've got...

A Classic Little Diddy

This song is one of my favorite oldies, and warms my heart...and makes me dance.

Severe Frustration

So my last post was mainly in jest, and a bit sacrilegious, but since then I've become severely frustrated by the comment of a co-worker who shows constant ignorance compounded by the fact that they don't know better than to voice their ignorant views to the world.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in the freedom of speech and that people should be able to think for themselves, but for goodness sake, try and actually THINK before you speak once in awhile!

I by no means am a proponent of those with same sex attractions/relationship being joined by law and calling it "marriage".  My religious beliefs are that the term "marriage" is defined as a lawful union between a man and a woman.  I DO believe in equal rights for same sex couples though, and I do believe that they should have the same human rights that everyone else does, and that they should be treated like everyone else, and by that I mean that they should be respected and treated as human beings.

I get so frustrated with those who think they are better than others because of their sexual orientation, or the color of their skin, or the accent which they speak with.  Granted, I make jokes about all three of these groups in light heartedness just as I do about myself and others of my own preferences and characteristics (Point being that I do not show the proper respect, at times, for others that I should), but I do not do it in an attitude of being better than them. People are people and yes, we are all children of God. To love and to treat others respectfully is not to condone or agree with other people's actions, it is simply to act as Christ would act. 

I know that anyone reading this can call me out as a hypocrite on several things I do, and I am okay with being called out when I am one.  But no one who knows me can say that I do not strive to treat those around me as human beings, and that all of my teasing aside, I do not care for the happiness and welfare of others regardless of whether or not they are the same as me. I struggle with some personalities, and many choices that people make in their lives greatly sadden me, just as I'm sure happens at times to anyone reading this, but we should always seek to pay proper respect to those we disagree with. Hatred makes me sick.

Patience

They say that patience is a virtue and that it comes with practice...If I had the patience to keep practicing, I wouldn't need to be practicing in the first place, now would I?!  What idiot came up with that saying anyway...I hope it wasn't Jesus.

It's All In the Perspective

Things that I was reminded of today...

1) If you think life sucks...it does.
2) If you think life is awesome...it is!
3) If you look for a specific answer, often times you miss out on the right answer.
4) If you don't look closely enough, you may not see what you're supposed to see.
5) If you think you're the only one who is experiencing a certain hardship, you're most likely wrong
6) If you think everyone is paying attention to you, it's most likely just you.

Make of it what you will, but what these all add up to for me is that I'm incredibly blessed in my life, and I have the opportunity to help bless the lives of others.  When life is tough and feeling too overwhelming, and it often can feel this way, try a new perspective. It might help you focus in on what you need to see without missing the big picture.