Words for me to live by....

I'm a laid back person for the most part, but certain things can infuriate me as if a switch was flipped. I don't like it, but it's something that will be a lifelong challenge to conquer, it seems. I just came across this poem and find it very wise:

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice control.

School thy feelings; there is power

In the cool, collected mind.

Passion shatters reason’s tower,

Makes the clearest vision blind. …

School thy feelings; condemnation

Never pass on friend or foe,

Though the tide of accusation

Like a flood of truth may flow.

Hear defense before deciding,

And a ray of light may gleam,

Showing thee what filth is hiding

Underneath the shallow stream.

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice control.

Close out the noise

So there I was sitting in Sacrament meeting today, and I had a cool experience happen. It's that experience that brings with it an "Ooohhhhh, I'd never really thought of that before" type of feeling.  The Sacrament was being passed around and the doors to the chapel were closed, when all of the sudden the crowd outside in the foyer began to get very loud.  This isn't a new scenario since it happens on a frequent basis, BUT the thought that came to my mind WAS new to me.

As I was sitting there, I thought how about how loud the people outside were and that it took away from the reverence of the Sacrament. Then I thought about how it was good that we had the doors closed, or else the noise would be significantly louder than it already was. Not deep enough for you? Yeah yeah, just listen where I'm going with this...as I thought about how the doors helped to close out noise and create a more sacred and reverent atmosphere, I thought about those who were outside in the foyer who would partake of the Sacrament, were not getting out of the experience what those who were within the confines of the chapel were able to, due to the noise that surrounded them; a noise that was not being muffled or lessened by anything.  Often times, the individuals who are out there are those who were not able to make it on time and as a result had to wait until the Sacrament was over before entering the chapel.  This made me think of the 10 virgins, those who were prepared and were able to enter in when the time came, and those were not able to due to lack of preparation, procrastination, and other choices.

As I sat there in the chapel I thought to myself, how the Sacrament, and the closing of the doors is actually a very symbolic ordinance of closing out the world and drowning out the noise, allowing ourselves to tune into the still, small voice of the Spirit that often times we do not hear as we are in the midst of all the noise around us.  By making certain choices, we place ourselves in this situation once a week to be able to  focus on the Savior and renew our covenants with Him, while dwelling in an atmosphere where the Spirit can speak to us, thereby affording us the possibility of greater peace, and happiness than we would find outside of the sanctuary, albeit a brief one.

Anyway, I guess it's not really deep, and I'm sure that this has dawned on many people before, but it was a cool experience because today I had the opportunity to benefit from the reverence of the a environment in which I found myself, thanks to making good choices.  It was a welcome experience.

They weren't lying...

So, I drank a "5 Hour Energy Drink" around 10:30 p.m. because I knew I'd need to stay up a while studying for my last final that I'm FINALLY taking tomorrow. Problem is, I decided about three hours into studying that I'd take my chances on the final tomorrow. Tried going to sleep. Turns out that true to their word, I'm getting every minute out of the 5 hour promise. Obviously I had to take a few minutes to peruse the blog world and good old Facebook before I give in and return to studying. I hope everyone else is sleeping well!

A Revival of Sorts

Here I am again wide awake on Christmas Eve.  It reminds me in a way of being a child again and not being able to sleep due to the anticipation of what Santa would bring me.  Those days were fun, because I was excitedly putting my hope into something that I could not prove to be true, but was perfectly content with believing nonetheless. Furthermore, I was investing all of my efforts into hoping that I'd receive a gift that I could not procure for myself. I did not have a way to obtain these awesome items because I did not have sufficient means with which to do so.

The excitement that I feel tonight is similar in a way to that of my childhood, but for a different reason.  It didn't take long into my childhood to figure out that Santa was not real, but instead a fun character that helps to bring mystery and joy to an enjoyable holiday.  Not only that, but quite frankly, I can obtain for myself those material things that I wish to obtain, which means that there is no need for anxious waiting of presents to be opened in order to see if what I want is under the Christmas tree.  No, the causes of the excitement that I feel are not the same as they were 20 years ago. While I am still excited by a gift that I quite often hope to receive and to be able to apply to my life, it is not a temporal gift advertised on tv. It's the gift of the Savior; it's the gift of mercy and unconditional love. This gift I cannot procure for myself, no matter how much money I make, or what my connections are. This is a gift that only comes from the heavens.  While this is not a gift that is only available to me on Christmas, I've had the blessing tonight of being able to read back through some previous blog entries and to be able to see just how much of an influence the gospel has, and continues, to play in my life. This is the greatest gift I could ever be given, and it needs no flashy wrapping paper or decorative bow to make it any more appealing. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"Earn This"

I just finished watching the movie "Saving Private Ryan" with my roommate.  Prior to this, as roommates, we watched the "Band of Brothers" mini series.  As I watched on TV a depiction of the blood and horror that engulfed those soldiers in the conquest that they undertook in order to defend the freedom of mankind, it aroused a great sense of gratitude in me.  While always having been thankful to those brave and selfless men and women who are willing to lay down their lives, I've been reminded in the past couple of weeks of the debt that I owe to these amazing individuals whose lives spans across countless generations.

I realize that watching it on TV doesn't begin to give me an idea of what it was truly like to be out there on the battlefields of hell, lying in wait for a mortar shell to randomly land next to me; perhaps even wishing it would so that the seemingly endless misery might be brought to an end.  I am aware that I will almost certainly never have to stand face to face with the enemy in desperate gun fire hoping to kill him before he kills me.  For this, I have an even deeper and swelling gratitude than I had previously realized as I watched these dramatic scenes reenacted; for I know that despite Hollywood's usual tendency to over dramatize everything else, they cannot begin to tap into the misery and torment that those soldiers must have felt as they counted each day passing by, only hoping that they would live to see the next, and most importantly hoping that they would live to see the day that they would arrive home once again, to resume the peaceful lives from which they had been ripped away; I imagine that the dream of every solider must have been that day that they would be allowed to awake from their worst nightmare that had become their reality.

The very end battle scene in "Saving Private Ryan" really just pulled on my heart strings as Tom Hanks' character is sitting on the bridge bleeding to death and the last words that he speaks to Private Ryan are "Earn this."  I know that the message is applicable to all of us, and should not be a new idea to me; the idea that every day of my life should be devoted to making this world a better place; a memorial to those who have laid down their lives for it. However, the idea of that man actually speaking the words to the fellow soldier for whom 8 lives specifically were spent in the mission to save his left a powerful impression upon me.

The movie is now over, and I'll soon be lost in the thoughts of my finance course work, and listening to Christmas songs streaming from Pandora, while I sit comfortably at my desk, in my room, in peaceful, pleasant Orem, Utah.  I know that this feeling will reside and I'll become distracted with other things that seem pressing; but I hope that I always am able to keep the mindset of "earning this" freedom that has been so courageously and selflessly gifted to me.  

You're Average

I was reading in the scriptures today (It's true, I swear!) and I came across the word "mean".  This led me to ponder regarding the originas of the adjective, as it is used to describe someone who is ill-mannered, or malicious in their comments or actions.

In statistics the word "Mean" is used to describe the "average" or the middle.  In this case then, is the word "mean" intended to describe someone who is negative or ill-mannered as "average"?  If so, when we use the word "mean" are we insinuating that we believe the average person to be ill-mannered or malicious?

Deep thoughts...

Welcome Warmth

It's not an unusual night. I'm just sitting here in my room, and have been for the last two and half hours as I've been working on my courses...but something feels different.

Nothing happened today that was out of the ordinary...but this isn't an ordinary feeling.

There's just some kind of excitement within me right now that feels fantastic! I feel happy and optimistic about what's in the near future, even though I have NO idea what those things will be.

Possible Culprits:

•   It's fall outside and I'm loving the weather! 
• I had a team party tonight and had pumpkin recipe foods ranging from entres to deserts. 
• Things are changing up at work, and I'm excited for it! 

These are all possible contributors to this welcome elation, but I'm intrigued as to why I'm so suddenly feeling like I'm on cloud 9. Whatever it is that's causing this awesome feeling inside of me, I hope it keeps going!