From the Midst of a Thousand Thoughts Comes...

The Unknown But Hoped For

I haven't experienced a night like this in a long time; I lay here typing this from my bed as it seems to be my only form of catharsis. It used to happen somewhat frequently as a kid/teenager; I'd lay in bed while my mind raced with all kinds of different thoughts, and all the while everything else around me was still except for maybe the rhythmic sound of the dishwasher in the background. Long gone are those days, and yet, here I am all these years later and as the a/c puts out a steady stream of white noise, I find myself finally feeling justified for having titled this blog as I did. In a way it's frustrating that my mind won't turn off so I can go to sleep in order to wake up early enough to stick to my newly implemented routine...effective as of tomorrow morning. At the same time though, there is something exhilarating about it as well. It's in the quiet stillness of the night that I contemplate my future and what it might entail, what I want it to entail, and most importantly whom it might entail. It's in this early morning serenity that I find myself all of the sudden renewed with a hope and aspirations; more importantly, it's in this soothing solitude that I can most strongly feel a connection with God and am able to once again realize His awareness of me.

There's much to be said, I believe, for the youthful innocence that I once again experience as I lay here. From it flows endless possibilities as bounds are broken and Doubt dissipates. There's no time to fear, there's only time to let the deepest and perhaps forgotten about desires of my heart reemerge to the surface of my conscience. The time to dream is now, sleep can wait...