Here I am again wide awake on Christmas Eve. It reminds me in a way of being a child again and not being able to sleep due to the anticipation of what Santa would bring me. Those days were fun, because I was excitedly putting my hope into something that I could not prove to be true, but was perfectly content with believing nonetheless. Furthermore, I was investing all of my efforts into hoping that I'd receive a gift that I could not procure for myself. I did not have a way to obtain these awesome items because I did not have sufficient means with which to do so.
The excitement that I feel tonight is similar in a way to that of my childhood, but for a different reason. It didn't take long into my childhood to figure out that Santa was not real, but instead a fun character that helps to bring mystery and joy to an enjoyable holiday. Not only that, but quite frankly, I can obtain for myself those material things that I wish to obtain, which means that there is no need for anxious waiting of presents to be opened in order to see if what I want is under the Christmas tree. No, the causes of the excitement that I feel are not the same as they were 20 years ago. While I am still excited by a gift that I quite often hope to receive and to be able to apply to my life, it is not a temporal gift advertised on tv. It's the gift of the Savior; it's the gift of mercy and unconditional love. This gift I cannot procure for myself, no matter how much money I make, or what my connections are. This is a gift that only comes from the heavens. While this is not a gift that is only available to me on Christmas, I've had the blessing tonight of being able to read back through some previous blog entries and to be able to see just how much of an influence the gospel has, and continues, to play in my life. This is the greatest gift I could ever be given, and it needs no flashy wrapping paper or decorative bow to make it any more appealing.