Well How About Them Apples?!

Today was quite the interesting day in way of insights on my life.  Let me tell you about them:

1) This may sound quite odd, and possibly morbid, but today I realized that for the first time that I can ever recall, the thought of dying doesn't make me anxious at all.  Weirded out yet? Muhahahaha....but really, it's not like that. I LOVE life and hope to live to a ripe old age, but at the same time I really like the idea of having peace of mind and peace of heart when thinking about "what if?" Now, I can't remember for the life of me what chain of thought led me to this realization, and it doesn't really matter to me.  All my life I've been a worrier and the thought of what would happen if I died has always been unsettling (I don't think about it THAT much), even though I've never had a problem with death in general. I don't know, maybe I've always just had a guilty conscious from all of my shady behaviors. *shrug* I guess I finally feel that I am in the clear and going in the right direction. Most people will not find this very interesting, but this is one of the insights I had.

2) The other insight I had was not actually mine. It was presented to me by a friend/co-worker of mine who I've known for quite a few years now.  Somehow the topic of my being single came up, and he offered his opinion that I'm not married because I don't know what I'm doing in my life.  Now I thought this was pretty ridiculous at first, but after considering it, it may actually have some merit.  I've often joked about sabotaging myself by going after relationships that I didn't think I could get, and then once I had the chance, it just never worked out for whatever reason.  I'm definitely not saying that my friend's opinion is correct, but it's always interesting to consider the possibilities.

That's all I've got...