Collective Trust

It occurred to me today as I was driving down Main street how much trust we put in each other as members of a society.  I was in the middle lane as two cars merged into the the lanes on each side of me at the same time.  The only thing that kept me from freaking out was the fact that there were dotted lines on each side of me to keep me "safe".   I find it incredibly interesting that we operate these pieces of machinery that weigh at least a ton each, and the only reason we expect to not be killed by each other is because we trust that others will obey rules that tell us to stay within certain lines, and to use blinkers when change lanes. Just a random though that I had...

There is Beauty All Around

Sometimes I'll be doing my own thing like just now as I was sitting at my desk at work, typing away.  I stopped to turn around, for what reason I couldn't tell you, and this is what I saw...

I realize that with my phone camera there is no way you can see this exactly how I see it, as the setting sun casts a glow over the greenery and brings it to life in exhilerating fashion, but that just gives me one additional thing to be grateful to God for.  Beautiful surroundings and eyes that can capture an image better than any camera ever could. Tender Mercies...

Family = Freaking Fantastic!

Jesse's wedding in L.A. (February 14, 2009)

I was wasting away my time on Facebook tonight and started going through past profile pictures randomly.  It was fun to look at past photos and laugh as I recalled many of the moments that the pictures were taken, but I was also filled with an immense gratitude for my family, especially my siblings, as I came across pictures that included them, as well.  I've always believed that the family unit is an immensely powerful influence in an individual's life, whether for bad or for good. The power that family has to shape a person is beyond words or measure, in my opinion.

Although I grew up in what most would probably call a dysfunctional setting (Who am I kidding, I'd be the first to say so), and even though we siblings grew up with half in one parent's home, and half in the other parent's home for most of our lives, it is amazing to me that we all seem to have such a strong bond with one another and love to spend time with each other.  I can definitely say that my siblings are among my best friends, which is something I'm always sad to realize that so many others cannot.

I've had the unique opportunity, I think more so than any other of my siblings to have one-on-one times with each of my siblings.  From my 8th-9th grade years where I was constantly spending time with my oldest brother,  Gordon, to my opportunities of having times during my junior and senior years of high school of being the only other sibling at home with Aubrey or Jesse, to my post mission era of becoming besties (Yeah, that's right, I said "besties. Tender moment) with my youngest seester, Lina; let's not forget all of the years I spent sharing a bed with Daniel.

We've all grown up now and are going about our lives in different areas throughout the western United States, and have ventured into different lifestyles.  We have some pretty heated family e-mail conversations, and definitely don't all see eye to eye on things.  But if there is one thing that I know, it is that my family is the most valuable thing that I can call my own and that there is no group of people I'd rather spend time with because albeit loud, we're pretty freaking funny, and fantastic!

My colon the...moral compass?

I've come to discover that my colon, or whatever body organs are in that immediate area of my body, have become my moral compass, of sorts.  Weird?  You betcha!  It's painful too, at times. 

So as it turns out, my older brother and sister (the two right ahead of me in age) both have forms of colitis.  My assumption is that this came to be because they carry their stress down in their abdominal section, just as I do.  All of my life I've had minor problems with my guts. You know, like the irritable, stomach tied in knots kind of feelings; but in the past couple of years it seems that my colon and co. have decided to take it upon themselves to remind me when I'm trying to go against what I honestly, and most often deep down, feel is the best thing for me to do.  Since I don't ever seem to learn, and I continue to go ahead with what seems logically correct, even though it's against my inner judgement, I've begun to pay a price for it every time I do.  My stomach gets this tightly wound, tied in knots and gnarls, you shouldn't have eaten that type feeling, and my colon, or immediate area becomes very tender and sore.  Even when I have my mind made up that my decision is the most logical thing to do and the best option, I apparently cannot lie to my abdominal section.  I guess it comes down to having to trust my gut feelings more often, or face the consequences of feeling my guts in tyranny until I put up the white flag

...I can't help but wonder if this means I'm a prisoner to body, and what seem to be commitment problems, or if my gut is just smarter than my brain.

The Unknown But Hoped For

I haven't experienced a night like this in a long time; I lay here typing this from my bed as it seems to be my only form of catharsis. It used to happen somewhat frequently as a kid/teenager; I'd lay in bed while my mind raced with all kinds of different thoughts, and all the while everything else around me was still except for maybe the rhythmic sound of the dishwasher in the background. Long gone are those days, and yet, here I am all these years later and as the a/c puts out a steady stream of white noise, I find myself finally feeling justified for having titled this blog as I did. In a way it's frustrating that my mind won't turn off so I can go to sleep in order to wake up early enough to stick to my newly implemented routine...effective as of tomorrow morning. At the same time though, there is something exhilarating about it as well. It's in the quiet stillness of the night that I contemplate my future and what it might entail, what I want it to entail, and most importantly whom it might entail. It's in this early morning serenity that I find myself all of the sudden renewed with a hope and aspirations; more importantly, it's in this soothing solitude that I can most strongly feel a connection with God and am able to once again realize His awareness of me.

There's much to be said, I believe, for the youthful innocence that I once again experience as I lay here. From it flows endless possibilities as bounds are broken and Doubt dissipates. There's no time to fear, there's only time to let the deepest and perhaps forgotten about desires of my heart reemerge to the surface of my conscience. The time to dream is now, sleep can wait...

Will This Work

Oh great, I edited my template for my original blog and now it won't work, but this does. Me Thinks that I do not care for this.

Family, Freedom & Carrie Underwood: God Bless America!


It's that time of year again; a time to celebrate America and all her glory!  This weekend is great the way the 4th is on Sunday so that the 5th is celebrated as the actual holiday.  This way,  we have a three day weekend.  Always a fan!  Fortunately, my older sister Aubrey and her family came up to visit for Friday and Saturday.  I was able to spend time with them, play some tennis and golf with my brother-in-law Mark and kiss my two  year old niece's cheeks a few times. They're some nice and chubby cheeks too. Perfect for kissing.  


Combine the great holiday weekend, with celebrating freedom, and spending time with family, and throw Carrie Underwood and her incredible performance at the Stadium of Fire into the mix and I'm not sure this weekend can get much better...unless Carrie decided that she wanted to marry me.  I'd definitely be willing to consider that option because I'm a good person like that.  I tell you what, that woman is one attractive and extremely talented individual.  She seems to be pretty bright and have her head on right, as well.  


Overall, life is good.  God has blessed me tremendously to allow me to live in such a wonderful nation that has been able to preserve its liberties through the selfless sacrifice of so many men and women in the armed forces.  I couldn't ask for a better family either.